hello friends I am here (logged into the wrong url)
goodbye friends I am gone (logging back into pitsu-pitsu)
accidentally logged into the wrong blog again oops
Agent Coulson is down
Okay so there are over twenty thousand notes on this already so I can’t exactly check if someone’s mentioned this already but—
Yinsen. Yinsen is the first person Tony’s ever lost. He’s the only one Tony couldn’t save. Yinsen was a doctor, just one defenceless man in no position to succeed against the Ten Rings, but he ran out to try anyway. And Tony couldn’t stop him, trapped inside a suit still powering up, but if Yinsen had only just waited maybe they could’ve both made it out alive.
But Yinsen didn’t wait, Yinsen made a call to buy time for Tony to make it out alive because he believed in Tony’s potential. Maybe Tony would hate himself a little less if he didn’t have Yinsen’s death on his hand, yes, but Tony Stark wouldn’t be Iron Man if not for Yinsen.
And here Tony sees Yinsen all over again in Phil Coulson and he hates himself. Because this time he has Iron Man, he’s not helpless like he was back in Afghanistan, he’s not even in enemy territory, and yet he still couldn’t do anything to prevent another Yinsen.
And Phil is an idiot to Tony because he could’ve just waited for Iron Man or Captain America or anyone more capable of taking on Loki. He’d still be alive and Tony wouldn’t be feeling responsible for another death. He wouldn’t be feeling like he’d failed another person so thoroughly or think that Iron Man wasn’t enough anymore. And now Tony’s stuck in Afghanistan again, thinking of what more he needs to do if he wants to stop Yinsen from happening all over again. (It explains why he’s furiously building himself an army of Iron Mans, why he can’t sleep anymore.)
But Phil believed in an idea, and just as Yinsen believed in Tony’s potential to do good, Phil does in the Avengers. And I’m going to just cry now.
Go sit in a corner and think about what you did.